released 03 January 2012
Recorded at The Kitchen thanks to Yohei Shikano
All songs written by Neal Harris except track 6, by Jacob Bruggman
Engineered & mixed by Jeremy Carberry
Produced by Neal Harris & Jeremy Carberry
All songs performed by Neal Harris & Jens Kuross
I fake my way through a corporate haze
Somehow, I keep on stumbling through
But I can't suppose that a dishonest survival strategy's enough to keep us in tune
I wrote my plan on the palm of my hand along the way to something I'd rather do
It's no surprise that when I stare in your eyes, you see me searching for some kinda clue.
I wish I knew the man you're suffering through a place you hate where people love nothing true, for months on end while he insists a coming trend of inspiration's gonna wash over you
It's almost time; it's almost about to shine and every now and then, some rays'll get through
A few more days before the corporate haze obscures the sun until the next window's due.
Track Name: Daydream
I had a tender daydream I thought we could find
Now it's well hidden; the product of some other mind
We're in the kitchen helping each other survive
But we're not living, at least not both at the same time
She said, "His heart's in motion, but nobody's beating mine"
We've been together much longer than I should've tried
I've kept a record of every word every line
That he's delivered since I was too young to be wise
He's not a liar but I'm not about to throw the dice
On what he promises and what he actually tries
Ten times I've told him but he just won't admit that I'm right
Maybe sometime he'll stop and think 'bout what he's tryin' to keep alive
Track Name: Breaking Thumbs
No time to spare, I'm clean out of clean air and I'm clinging to where I make a living
Breaking thumbs to get by, only sleeping when I'm not pretending to do any dreaming
Been three years since the day I was handed a paper that said I didn't need to stay in college
Now I'm smothered within necessity and contest inside of a head that wasn't given for such knowledge
It's a living waste of life; dying to be taught how to fight, only to find they've given someone else your locker
Having barely broke it, in now you're on the streets again showing the children how much their lives have to offer
How our time's more often spent being employed to pay the rent than we can ever hope to alter
Every day I die to see other faces look at me with expressions that aren't cynical and bound
To resignments of their own, only trying to make it home for a few hours of forgetting what they promised
To become when they were free of the textbooks and the teachers that would keep them from exploring all around
Now they have to reconcile what they want with what's in style,
what they love with merely some way to get by
It's the cost of common sense that keeps the cost of being happy something hardly worth the bother
Track Name: We're Not The Only Ones
I ask the wrong questions
But I won't pick a fight
You're the only one who knows what I'm not doing right
And if I can't keep you
Then I'll happily have tried
I know I'm not the only one who's qualified
I'm only made of bones, flesh & blood
But it's a condition everybody seems to share
Our home's just made of stones, sticks & mud
But I bet I'll find a way to make you smile in there
You can't keep on crying
You can't keep holding tight
To a version of the two of us that never saw the light
I ain't in no hurry
To make us see eye to eye
But if I could show a glimpse of good times comin' maybe you'd sit tight
We're only made of bones, flesh & blood
One day we'll fall apart, it's nothing to despair
Our home's just made of stones, sticks & mud
But I bet I'll find a way to make you smile in there
Track Name: Tired Legs
So certain that you can't imagine who you are
All you've brought into fruition didn't seem to travel far
From the house that you grew up in and the town that it's a part
Stripped of every loving thing and all you've loved until our start
Watching me monitor the patterns that the tears on your face carve
Sick, getting much sicker
Impossible to be consoled
Grasping your hand, I can't hold tighter without crushing every bone
My ability to raise your spirits, dying on its own; never more impotent or unconvincingly sold than when I'm terrified that I might be your only source of hope
All faced with the unexpected, we're reminded of our birth
When our world exploded outward and our womb became the earth
And we cried to feel so free, and we cried to feel so spurned
And we took down their directions without caring how they learned
We're all catching with our right hands if our left are overturned
I know you were misdirected,
I know you were badly burned
When I told you where to get to without knowing where you were
Now your head is balanced gently on a neck that's giving way
Tired legs keep it from falling though it nearly does each day
I would carry you to safety if I had a place to stay
Track Name: Apathy Is Stronger Than Love
I've got a head so full of clouds
My heart it aches and I can't stand
All of these lonely faces that I see
Doll, we've got to clean up our act
Then the winter, it struck
So I poured two cups
Of coffee in the hopes they'd warm our souls
It's all bare feet on these pavement streets
Guess I can't make you stay
And broken hearts rarely change
So I cover up my face
Track Name: Who Knows
Souls are dying every minute of every day
They go back to nothing from whence they came
Thus so, when their bodies have just begun to decay
But mine leaves me standing, watching you walk away
Who knows what I am if you won't stay
My shoulder's no comfort, just a place where you once laid
My hand grasps at nothing now when I'm afraid
Alone in my wonder and alone in my pain
I couldn't share them with you cause you said they were one and the same
You know what I am and it's not fake
If you're old and unhappy that you're old and you're grey
And only young in a picture behind the glass of a frame
I'll open my head up and expose what remains
Of where I've always been keeping what you thought you'd lost with your age
Who knows what you are if not my faith?
Track Name: Charity
Charity is a choice
She don't belong to just one voice; one desperate shout ascribing her a higher purpose than what she brings about
Charity took our hearts and put them to use
She was an answer to herself, but one they refused; went looking for another reason to let that kind of loving loose
I've let a lot of things misshape my point of view, but it's the honest part of me that always knew that something good was good enough to make it true
Charity started slow; we had no thoughts, we had no dreams
But now that we're older, we know though our blood is where she was conceived, it didn't take too long to grow her our new minds to be believed
Charity, come back down
Out of the clouds, into the crowds that until now kept you away; don't want the sky to keep on clearing if that's where you're gonna stay
I've let a lot of things misshape my point of view, but it's the honest part of me that always knew that something good, was good enough to make it true
Track Name: Disappear
I can't understand why you're holding dear to what
You can't stand while you disappear underwhelmed by what came of coming here
Wishing the end of it was near
When the day to day becomes year to year
And you're horrified it's becoming clear
That you've made your comfort from your worst fear
Wish you were anywhere but here
You know, it's not too late
To let loose and run
Forget the inclination
To think you'll come undone
I only really wanted
To be someone
You could trust but instead, I'm public enemy one.
Maybe they were right all along, they said
He'd try to poison your mind or get you in his bed
Cause all a godless man is good for in the end is keeping you from seeing clear
I just can't stand to see you with another guy
Who won't return your calls or hold you when you cry
But who you tell your fears though he can't tell you his
Now tell me if that's what love is
You know, it's not too late
To let loose and run
Forget the inclination
To think you'll come undone
I only really wanted
To be someone
You could trust but instead, I'm public enemy one.
Track Name: I Only See You Smile
Someone told me you had tears
Enough to last you for the rest of your years
I was surprised to hear that's so
Because I only see you smile when you go
I guess you wore a happy face
Guess you've got muscles that can hold one in place
Guess my mind must be getting slow
I didn't realize you cried when you got home
You hold me like I'm made of snow
There was a time you wouldn't let me go
A time I didn't have say
I loved you to hear back the same
It's only gonna last so long
You've only got so many years to be strong
Sooner than later, I suppose
That upper lip'll decompose
I wish that love could stay the same
I wish becoming old is all we became
I wish that wishing on its own
Could keep you smiling when you're off on your own